Dealing with a Downer

Dealing with a pessimist on your team is a stressful, frustrating and mind-numbing experience. The bad news is that attempts to ignore or counter frequent negative comments by escalating the war of words are destined to backfire. The good news is that by taking some proactive steps, you can help change this behavior.

The first step is to figure out what is causing your team member’s negativity. Some common sources of pessimism include resentment at not having been promoted, a need for recognition, or a need to cover for a lack of knowledge or skill. It is essential to separate the cause between skill-based (”I can’t do it”) and motivation-based (”I won’t do it”) FIRST. Then, you can move toward identifying where the real issue lies. Whatever the source of the pessimism, the key to responding constructively is to focus on the impact of the individual’s behavior. Changing behavior is much easier than trying to reform a person’s long-held beliefs and values.

Here are three approaches to managing negative behavior:

1. Call them out- NICELY. This is best done by pulling the team member aside and explaining how their comments are received. The rule when giving this type of feedback is to be at least as positive as you are negative. Once you understand the underlying reason for the pessimism, you can provide additional support or information if it’s needed.

2. Redirect negative forces. Negativity can fester and eventually kill a team’s momentum and motivation. Don’t let negative comments linger. Ask for clarification or more information about what the speaker means.
For example, if a team member says, “This project is never going to make it past Finance,” ask the speaker to explain why they think that. Better yet, you can ask for alternative solutions: “What can we do to make sure the project does make it past Finance?” You can also ask team members to use “but statements.” Ask them to follow skeptical or critical sentences with “but.” For example, your team member could say “This project is never going to make it past Finance, BUT it’s worth laying the groundwork now because next year, Finance is apt to approve more tech projects.” It’s helpful to model this type of behavior for the entire team. Offer your own constructive criticism while providing an alternative solution.

3. Remember your manners!! It can be damaging to single out a team member in front of the entire team. Once you have redirected the negative forces, it is very common for supervisors to bring that force right back when they go to the next step, thinking they need to establish a presence in order to change behavior. The truth is peer pressure is a far more effective tactic. Set team norms and ask everyone to observe them. Once you’ve agreed on norms, ask the team to hold each other to them. This approach can be used when you’re not the team leader as well. If a fellow team member is regularly negative, you can appeal to what is known as the collective wisdom of the team by modeling positive behavior and using peer pressure to show the pessimist a more productive way of contributing. Of course as a peer, your influence is limited and you may need to talk with the team leader if your attempts to redirect the pessimist don’t work.



Principles to Remember


When All Else Fails
If a team member is continually disruptive and does not respond to coaching or feedback, you may ultimately need to pursue transfer or removal procedures. Sometimes people are not a good fit for a team or a project and it’s your job as leader to make that distinction.

Negativity Can be Useful
It’s important to remember that the goal here is not to rid the team of any skeptical sentiment. Not all negativity is bad, despite how it sounds or feels. We need dissenting voices to check our assumptions and push our ideas dimension to teaming. As long as he or she is not strong enough to derail progress, he or she may offer thoughts that otherwise wouldn’t come in.

Do:
Find the source of the pessimism
Differentiate between the person and the behavior
Involve the whole team in setting norms for team behavior

Don’t:
Single someone out in front of the whole group
Allow negative comments to go unaddressed
Assume all pessimism is unproductive

No one can overestimate the challenge this issue presents. However, the first objective here is similar to the best strategy one should employ when one finds him/herself in a hole- STOP DIGGING. Once that is accomplished, then it is on to the “real work” of having the tough conversation with the employee. But, first you need to stop the damage. If you follow the steps above, you should be able to get to the point of working towards that inevitable conversation. If you fail in the process, think up a different approach to the steps and try again. It is important to remember to keep your eye on the true prize- a cooperative, trust based culture in which you and the employee in question can flourish and evolve. Keep working at it, and keep believing there WILL be an answer. Just be prepared to accept the answer is not the one you were expecting!

Until Next Time….

Keep Smiling,